Sleep

Sleep.... It is something I can not get enough of.



I have always needed a nap. When I switched from my part time job working 5 hours a day to six hours a day. I got really tired. I know it is only one hour extra a day, but that hour did me in. I found myself going in the office and sleeping on the desk. When I was in high school, my thing to do after school was to eat some ice cream and soda or a candy bar and milk, watch my cartoons and get my half an hour or hour long nap. I continued that tradition in college. I would schedule my classes for mid morning or early afternoon. Classes after 2 were not even on my radar. I would go home, make sure my sisters were home and take a nap until I had to go to work at 5 or 6.

I always feel at my worst when I am not getting enough sleep. I don't have bags under my eyes yet, but give me another week of 5 hours of sleep a night and I will have some Samsonites in no time.

In the winter, my schedule is jam packed full of stuff and I have a hard time getting my sleep in. A full 8 hours of sleep is unusual for me, and I do try to get my full set. Life just gets in the way.

During the summer, life slows down somewhat but I still can't get any sleep because now it is too dang hot to sleep. I run the fan, have the window open, and sleep in shorts or- ahem- naked, but I am still too hot. Now that I share my room with my booski, the room is even hotter, and not in that 'oooh baby' kinda hot way.


Right now, I am feeling exhausted. I went to sleep at 2 am, woke up a few times at night by my bladder and then my booski and finially when I was getting that too good to be true sleep, it was time to wake up. My child will be gone for the weekend and I was hoping to get in some good sleep and clean my house without the frustration of cleaning the same dang spot elevteen times because my girl keeps meesing it up. So I am going home and will pack her bag, wait for my sister to come and get her, go to the gym, come home take a looooong hot shower, eat a little sumthin sumthin and fall asleep on a movie I have seen ten times and wake up at noon. That sounds so great I could cry.

Treo

I love my Treo! It keeps me semi organized, I keep my lists and favorite pics on there. I text like crazy until my balance gets too low and I use whole words to text, not 'ttyl' or stuff like that. My phone is old and getting kinda battered, but it still loves me and I love it back.







Here are some of my favorite things about my Treo:

• Color coded calendars- I separate my life in many different categories- work, sorority, goof off stuff, my child's stuff and so on. It is a very easy way for me to figure out what I have too much of in my life. If there is too much red, I have way too much to do at work. Too much pink, I should pull back on my child's schedule a little before I give us both a coronary.
• Handy Shopper- this is a separate program that can be downloaded onto just about any Palm. I make lists for each of the stores I frequent will a recurring list of items that we always seem to need. It has worked out nicely, I have not run out of TP yet. I also use it for lists of things to pack for trips, music to download and books to look for. Yes, I am an anal nerd at times, but I am also forgetful.
• Mirror- My Treo is a cool ass mirror to make sure my lipstick is even.
• Real Player- I like to listen to music. Sometimes I make it my 'ghetto' ghetto blaster and walk down the street with it playing with out headphones. Sometimes I play it in the shower- resting on the sink of course.
• Butler- I use this to set the three alarms I need to talk myself out of bed in the morning. I like that it calls me Madam, 'cause I am a lady.
• Camera- It's not the best camera, but it sure does beat carrying one more thing that you are afraid of breaking to a people packed place. It also captures precious moments like your neighbor's toddler nodding in and out of sleep clutching a balloon.
• Touch screen- I will forever and ever touch every phone screen I come across. The best thing for me is the easy navigation by touch screen. I tried the Sidekick, the Jack piece of crap or whatever it is called and the Blackberry. They suck in my eyes because I love the touch screen of a Palm Treo.

There are many more reasons that I love my Treo. Yes it is big and clunky, but it does so much and I would probably be assed out to the extreme if something should happen to it.

Hello Kitty

Uh oh. Here I go! Everyone knows that I have an obsession with Hello Kitty. I have a HK email account, tons of stationary, pens, pencils and.... a tattoo. The tattoo was dedicated to my favorite people, my daughter and Hello Kitty.

I first saw HK when I was 8 or 9 years old. I was walking home from the store in the rain and saw a red square thing on the ground. I saw it had a cat on it, and she had a bow. I picked up the thing and found out that it was a teeny tiny address book with a keychain on it. I took it home and dried it out. I didn't really use it because I wasn't allowed to use the phone so there was no use putting numbers in it. But I kept it because I thought it was sooo cute.

After finding the address book, I started seeing Hello Kitty in various places, usually on Asian students who went to school with me. I could not find it in my hood anywhere. And my mom was not about to drive me around on a mission to find some 'damn cat'. So I forgot about Hello Kitty and would occasionally remark on her cuteness when I went to Shiga's on the Ave and saw thier Sanrio section. UNTIL.....

I had a child.

Something about having a child brings out all manner of nostalgia in a parent. You want to give your child everything that brought you comfort and happiness when you were a child. I bought Really Rosie and Free to Be... You and Me and sang it badly and loudly to my child. My child is 9 and can sing those songs backwards if she wanted to. I wrapped her in blankets because I remember my grandma and me sitting on the couch with our blankets on our laps watching TV. I buy maple nut ice cream and make coca cola floats with my daughter because that's what me and grandpa did while watching Dallas, the Dukes of Hazzard and 60 Minutes. It was also the ice cream of choice for summer BBQ's.

My homelife was a doozy growing up. We were a crazy mix of all American and all loony. My dad walked around the house in his tighty whiteys. My mom not only took her shoes off at the door, but also her skirt and bra. I really did read Playboy for the articles because they were in the bathroom near the toilet when I went to do my dootie. My mom would scream at us a lot. My mom should not own a gun. We found that out the hard way.

Hello Kitty somehow represented the sanity that was missing from my home growing up. My parents provided for us, but man, sanity is hard to come by. My mother was depressed and snapped in anger a lot, I suspect she has other issues too, but nothing has been diagnosed. My dad was protective of us and he would swing his bat if he thought anyone was trying to hurt me, but sometimes I felt overprotected but underprotected at the same time by him. Hard to explain that one.

So ANYHOO- I grow up and have this beautiful little girl and all I want to do is kiss her and make her happy. What better way is there to subconciously say "I love you and I am sane" than Hello Kitty? So I have a lot of HK stuff and my daughter has been indocrinated with the HK way of life, though I know she likes the Bratz line of crap. She doesn't have to like the kitty, but she must know the kitty.

So I have tons of Hello Kitty stuff to prove to my daughter that I will always be there for her and never chase her through the house with a butcher knife, or shoot a gun off at her and barely miss. But I know that I still think she is awfully cute and would collect her various products regardless of a crazy mother.

Hmmmm. I never realized it was so dang deep before now. Wow. Self discovery.

Nice People

Okay, so people are not 'things', so work with me. I like nice people. I am a nice person. I want to help others and make this a better world.

What I hate are spiteful, nasty people. I hate people who are mean just because it is waaaay less effort to be mean and rude. And I hate people who will only do things because there is something in it for them.

Sometimes people say I am rude. I have to disagree, if I come off as rude, it is because you have said or done something so stupid REPEATEDLY that I can't take it. I am usually very laid back. Do it once, I can chalk it up you to having a bad day, but three times, I am pissed and I have to set your tail straight. At work, I often have to babysit grown ass folks to relinquish the PUBLIC computers so others can use them. They get upset. After the 10th complaint from the same person, I kindly remind them that they could purchase a computer of thier very own and they would not have this problem. I also remind them that there are programs available where they can recieve a computer (laptops!!) for free. Same with printing, tell them they can not print out twenty pages of thier astrological charts, they get pissy. I tell them they are more than welcome to walk down to the public library and use thier computers and PAY to print shit out.

Oh, but I digress. There is a difference between not suffering fools and just being rude. I know when someone is being rude to me because I am actin a fool (and I rarely do that) and when they are just rude. I worked customer service jobs for years. Don't ever, ever come to a customer service rep with a foul attitude if you want something productive done. We will do the bare minimum to get your ass out of our face. But if you are polite and calmly discuss why you are upset, I know I will go out of my way to help you and move a mountain to make sure you get what you need. People who yell, scream and bully people into getting thier way have bad karma. I firmly believe in reaping what you sow. Good things happen to me because I know that I try to treat people well. (and I don't do nice things because I want the favor returned materially.) Bad things happen to me too, I am not immune from them, but the bad things do not come as a result of things that I can control... I know bad things keep happening to my ex because he keeps doing spiritually dirty things to people and it keeps coming back to bite him on the ass. He always has an alterior motive for anything he does. Last year he took me to Costco and bought us $300 worth of food and supplies. I just waited for him to drop the favor bomb. He wanted me to write a letter forgiving over $20,000 in child support. I told him that was not my decision, the state would make that decision. So he was pissed that he spent $300 on us for food his CHILD would eventually eat, cause my boo can eat, and supplies she would eventually use, (she uses a lot of toilet tissue).

Here is a short and sweet guide to being nice if you are amicably challenged:

• Treat others as you would like to be treated
• If someone does something nice for you, pay it forward and do something nice for someone else
• If there is someone who brightens your day, let them know. It will brighten thiers.
• Hug someone
• Smile dammit.
• Say hello to people you pass on the street, especially if you see them everyday.

And please train your children on being nice. Nothing makes my slappin hand itch and twitch more than a snotty ass child. Hallay-lu-yer.

Men

I like men. Even though they can be thoughtless, clueless, stinky beasts. I am not a skank, but I like looking at 'em. Looking is alright, as long as I don't touch. So chill.

I like short men, tall men, medium men, white men, black men, brown men, yellow men. I like bald men, hairy men, men with long hair, men with hair on thier hands, but not with hair on thier backs... ewww. I like skinny men, chubby men, outright fat men, but I love men with muscles. I love smart men, street smart men, people smart men, but not dumb men. I like men with nice teeth, men with blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes. Long eyelashes are nice. Men who give good massages are great too!

But I love a man who is a man. Having a penis does not make you a man.

Taking care of your bidness (kids, family, home, having and KEEPING a job), honesty, faithfulness, and loyalty are a few of the qualities that make you a true dude.

Actually, what attracts me to a guy can be very random. I like one guy because he seems so nervous around me and it flatters my big ego. I also like his quirkiness. Another guy got my attention because he had a beautiful laugh. It was a gentleman's laugh and made me go 'oh'. It didn't hurt that he is a nice looking man who is educated and square. But that laugh had me. His face also has character. He looks tired but friendly. I dig him. One of my ex boyfriends had a nice sense of humor and it is always good to have someone around who can make you laugh.

I also like geeks. They can be straight out geeks or so called 'cool guys' who can get lost in Best Buy. I like squares too. There is nothing wrong with a guy who is on point about himself. I don't want no thugs. All that brings is heartache and continued brokeness keeping thier butts out of trouble, and they will never have a job, so having kids with them is a definite no no unless you like working when you should be on bedrest or before your stitches have healed from your ceasarian.

Tea

I love tea! It comforts and warms me when it is cold outside. It reminds me of my childhood, but it also makes me feel grown and sophisticated. When I am home, I enjoy my tea hot or cold and always have at least one pitcher of iced tea in my fridge. I enjoy my tea more when I have an "atmosphere" going on at home, which basically means my house is clean, a nice teapot and matching cup is a must. I have too many teapots and cups, but can not bear to give any away. My favorite thing to do is to put on some music, wrap up in a blanket and grab some good reading material or knitting project and just chill with my favorite tea of the moment. Who needs drugs or alcohol when you have that? I like to have tea parties with my daughter, though she usually enjoys the cookies and not the tea. She will learn.

My favorite teas:

• Harny and Sons Mango Black Tea- This tastes so good with milk, this is my favorite evening tea.
• Market Spice Tea- This is my new favorite, but I will admit that I did not like it when I had it when I was young. But now, this is my favorite morning tea and it smells so good and it makes my office smell like cinnamon and oranges, which is better than the usual stinky smells around this joint.
• Contsant Comment- This is my OG tea. My dad brought this home when I was little and I was intantly in love. I always have a box in my house. I make this hot and enjoy it cold mixed with good ol Lipton. It also tastes good with milk or half and half, smells and tastes luxurious and therefore, my house has to be on point and I bring out the teapots to enjoy this. If I share the yummy goodness of this tea, you have to know that I really like you or I am being awfully generous and want to share my secret love with you.
• Morrocan Mint- This is a great winter tea when I feel icky in the chest and great iced with Lipton. Also good with milk and half and half.
• Jasmine Tea- There is a brand I pick up in the Asian grocery store as a loose tea. I do not remember the name of it, but I always find it because the package is bright yellow and black. I use it for iced tea and add lemon and it is a very delicious summer tea.
• Lipton- Good ol Lipton. Sometimes, I don't want any flava. I just want a hot cup of tea that tastes good. Lipton is that tea. I don't like anyother 'plain' teas but this. I buy it in bulk from Costco. I make my iced tea with 4 bags of Lipton, one bag of a specialty tea or 5 bags of Lipton and one lemon.

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula

This has been my favorite all around tool since I was young. I use it for all manner of skin care:

• To smooth out my nose when it peels in the winter
• Lightly control my baby hair around my face
• Itchy skin relief
• ashy hand care
• I use it to smooth out my eyebrows which can be a bushy mess
• I put it on my eyelids. it kinda gives me extra glow... At least I think so.
• And most importantly, I use it for my lips. It smells so good and has no taste that interferes with my tea drinking. And... ahem, my men friends like the smell too.

It has to be the butter formula. The lotion is not as groovy. I have about 4 mini jars of the stuff, I carry a jar in my bag, my jacket pocket, my gym bag and have one on my toiletry tray in my room. I reluctently gave one to my friend for his dry lips and promptly went out to buy another one to replace the one I gave away. It is THAT great.

Me

I don't like everything about me, but I like most of me.

It took me a minute to get there. I still have self doubt and feel ugly sometimes, but overall, I feel like I am a better person than I was even three years ago. I hate that I am nice to a fault towards people who don't deserve it. I still hate my temper sometimes, but I like that I am more likely to let my feelings be known than I was before. I don't like that some people think that I am a b****. But I also know that I put on a stone face to protect myself at work and in public from people who would suck you dry if they could. Sometimes I don't like my goofiness, but most of the time I embrace it because it is what makes me me. It is also very easy to make me smile and laugh- even when I should be more serious, but I like that I do not take life too seriously.


I finally figured out that I am a good person and I can read through my own BS and know when I am not being real for myself and towards others. I can read other's BS sometimes, I am still working on that. I had a friend point out to me that I am 'good peoples' and that anyone who doesn't like me is a hater. I always suspected as much, but it was nice to hear that from someone else.