Babies

I love babies, they smell good, are sweet most of the time and are full of the potiential that God made us with.

My child is now a tween and I look at her and get very teary as I remember her as a baby, unable to do most things herself but breathe and poop. I remember the joy and wonder as she accomplished new things, her first laugh, sitting up, crawling, figuring out how to walk and talk. It was so exciting. She made a 'drawing' when she was two and I carried that around for a while next to my badge.

I miss that. I love watching my daughter grow now, but that time brings back some of the best memories of my life. I thought I was ready to have another one, but now I am not so sure. I had custody of my nephew who is 18 months old for a few days and was shocked at all the work that I had to do. I forgot about that. My daughter can cook, clean and bathe for herself- though she does none of them very well. My nephew, eats constantly, poops a lot and wants to be carried. I think I blocked all that stuff out in my memories of motherhood and that is why I almost got suckered into planning for another.

But even as I write the above, my heart still wants a baby.