America's Most Wanted

I have watched this show since it first came on when I was 14. I was hooked. It's not that I had fantasies of finding crimminals and calling them in. Most likely, I would probably look at them trying to figure out where I had seen them before. If I did figure it out, I would run like hell. It was one of the first "true crime" shows on TV- I also liked Unsolved Mysteries, but sometimes I got scared watching that.

I think I liked the show because sometimes the dramatizations were so cheesy it was funny. Sometimes the actors used to portray the crimminal looked NOTHING like the crimminal. I wonder if any of the crimminals got pissed that they used a ugly actor to portray them. One episode was filmed in the city where I live a long time ago. The actor they used for a segment was a guy who used to come into the grocery store where I worked all the time- he looked a little like Bad- era Michael Jackson, and his acting was saaaaaaaaddddd. The crimminal he was portraying looked closer to Rick Ross. I had a real good laugh at that one.

One episode that pissed me off was the story of a local lady killed by her son. I knew the lady and the actress portraying her looked nothing like her, but what killed me was the props and what they secretly said about her... They showed her walking through her yard and it was littered with toys and junk. What was worse was that they portrayed the cop who's head was GRAZED by a bullet while she hid behind a car a hero. That whole segment left a sour taste in my mouth. I definetly see bias in some of the stories, but at the same time they do pull people off the streets who deserve to be in jail.

Babies

I love babies, they smell good, are sweet most of the time and are full of the potiential that God made us with.

My child is now a tween and I look at her and get very teary as I remember her as a baby, unable to do most things herself but breathe and poop. I remember the joy and wonder as she accomplished new things, her first laugh, sitting up, crawling, figuring out how to walk and talk. It was so exciting. She made a 'drawing' when she was two and I carried that around for a while next to my badge.

I miss that. I love watching my daughter grow now, but that time brings back some of the best memories of my life. I thought I was ready to have another one, but now I am not so sure. I had custody of my nephew who is 18 months old for a few days and was shocked at all the work that I had to do. I forgot about that. My daughter can cook, clean and bathe for herself- though she does none of them very well. My nephew, eats constantly, poops a lot and wants to be carried. I think I blocked all that stuff out in my memories of motherhood and that is why I almost got suckered into planning for another.

But even as I write the above, my heart still wants a baby.